Starting over

So I am back at it. I needed a place to write my notes and figure out my way around what I am doing. I had my son 4 months ago... I have always been worried about getting pregnant as I am already overweight.... so lets add a few more pounds right. I lost weight in my first trimester... and only gained a total of about 20 pounds, most of which was water weight. I was VERY swollen. I lost everything and was back at my pre-prego weight of 240 (not great I know, but better then where I am). As of this morning I have gained all of my prego weight BACK. I am a whopping 259.5lbs. I am SO dissatisfied with my body. I know I am supposed to be genital with myself and give myself time to get back to normal, but honestly I am not getting any better.

I have been having issues getting the exercise that I need. I have been doing stroller strides once a week... I rolled my ankle once... Now after wrestling with my niece and nephews I hurt my knee and can hardly walk... so great.

My belly is still big and covered is stretch marks (which don't really bother me) I have BACK ROLLS! WHAT the hell! Gross! I'm over it.

So as of today, I am going Atkins on my ass. I had coffee this morning. For breakfast I had 2 eggs, 1/2 avocado, some left over turkey and some cheese.

For lunch I am thinking some tuna on leteus..Dinner... salad with Turkey at Brenna's as I watch the boys.

I am not ready to tell too many people what I am doing. Tyler knows. But he is my rock and I need some support on this. I am not drinking this week at all but this weekend, we have 2 holiday parties. Tania and Alens and Societe's...

I have not really been drinking that much anyways, When I do, I feel like shit. Even when it is just 1-2 beers. or wine... or liquor... So I just have not been drinking that much. So for this weekend I will probably just stick to that I might have something to drink, I am just not going to drink that much. Especially if I am even a little successful with my weight loss this week.
I just need to remember to stay positive and on track. I know I cant really exercise at the moment... I cant even crawl into bed, but hopefully with a little rest and weight loss my knee will start to feel better and I can get back out there. I want to play soccer again, but there is just no way at the moment that I can do that... All the muscle that I did have has left me and I truly feel like Jello!!

This is a year of change for Tyler and I...in sooooo many aspects of the word. We are moving in with my parents to become debt free. We are decluttering to the max. We are going to loss weight and become healthier. We are always said that we would do this, but we have the best motivation in the world: Hudson. I want to be able to chase him and crawl around with him and play with him and not feel so tired and sweaty and warn down.